


Answers

by cloud_orion



Series: AkuRoku drabbles and short stories [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuRoku Day, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 20:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20233630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloud_orion/pseuds/cloud_orion
Summary: Are they really just memories of feelings?





	Answers

**Author's Note:**

> This drabble is my personal interpretation of Axel's feelings and thoughts during the tower scene at the end of Kingdom Hearts 2 and my very first Kingdom Hearts fic, never published before.  
To be honest, I was going to post a different fic for AkuRoku day, but between a new job and moving to a new place, I couldn't finish it on time; still, I wished to contribute to AkuRoku day :D

Axel stared at a drop that was sliding and falling down from Roxas’ ice cream. Why did he feel something like happiness every time he saw Roxas' smile? Was it a memory of happiness? It couldn't be the real thing, it was impossible. It had to be impossible because every feeling was just a shadow, faded memories from the past. Echoes. Although... He couldn't name some of these echoes. Some _things_ seemed new to him, but surely that was wrong. He hoped, he feared it was wrong.  
But not for Roxas. Surely not for Roxas, so maybe...  
"I’ve been thinking, and Namine was saying this, too… You do have a heart, don’t you, Roxas? And Namine and me… Do we _really_ have no hearts?"  
Roxas seemed uncertain "I…" he shook his head "I don’t know, either."  
"Yeah, I guess not- Axel remembered how despondency would feel, just for a second, before his best friend spoke again "But… A heart isn’t something you can see" Axel held his breath for a moment, then Roxas continued "I’ve started thinking that it must be something you can feel. And if so, then… Nah, never mind."  
"Hm? What? Don’t leave me hanging." The memory of _hope_ accelerated Axel's heartbeat.  
Roxas stared at the sunset and his uncertainty melted into a kind smile "Sora will find the answers, I know. Because he’s me."  
Axel smiled as well, his heartbeat slowing down a little "Yeah. You’re right."  
He couldn't bring himself to press Roxas for more. An answer, any answer would have been scary, and the wind was so nice that he could forget why it had been so important to know the truth in the first place.  
"Hey, still got it memorized? When we first met, the day you got your name, we watched the sunset from here just like this."  
Roxas gave a tiny nod "This place is home."  
_It’s home for me, too, thanks to you_ thought Axel while he listened to his best friend’s voice.  
"Well, I should go. Sora is waiting for me."  
Something screamed inside Axel. _No, please. Please! I want to talk to you more. I want to show you the tissue box; I only need one more winner stick. You're going to be so surprised. I want to see your surprised expression, your smile. I want to hear your laugh. We haven’t gone to the beach yet, and you wanted to so much. Please, don't go!_  
"Yeah, I suppose he is" he said instead. Axel bit the ice cream and turned away, his shoulders shaking, his eyes staring at the darkening twilight "Ah, this ice cream is really salty."  
A few moments passed silently, while Axel turned back again to look at the sunset in front of him; at Roxas next to him.  
Roxas turned to Axel, his smile the kindest that Axel has ever seen. "See you, Axel" he said, his voice soft and warm, blue eyes fixed on green ones.  
Axel so badly wanted to touch him, to hold him and to never let him go. "See you, partner" he replied, giving up on not crying, while Roxas, his Roxas, glowed in the sunset, light vanishing into light.  
It was like icy hands were grabbing his throat, his stomach, his chest and squeezing cruelly.  
"Hey Roxas, you know?" his voice just a painful whisper "I think… I think I just figured it out."  
Axel extended his hand in a pointless attempt to grab the last, tiny sparks of light, his vision blurred by tears. "I… We… We have a heart after all. There is no way something could hurt even more than this."


End file.
